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AMBER’S ANSWERS
(On Instagram)
Photo by: Amber Marshall
@amber_marshall_farm
#AmbersOntarioFriendBlue
24 Jun 2015
https://instagram.com/p/4SgSZdkZc3/embed/?v=4
AMBER’S ANSWERS
(On Instagram)
Video by: Amber Marshall
@amber_marshall_farm
bunny buffet [RABBIT]
23 Jun 2015
[now thats a true chow line! what do you use for their nest bedding?]
@amber_marshall_farm : in their “bunny house” i use wood shavings in the summer and straw in the winter. in their litter box i use wood shavings.
[funny, alternate colors!]
@amber_marshall_farm : that might be part of my “ocd” coming out…. [SUNGLASSES SMILEY] my brother called me out on it as soon as i sent him this video.
[aaawww! have you found one that you would like to keep or no?]
@amber_marshall_farm : no i’m not keeping any. my favourite one went to my friend donna.
[how do you clean their bunny house ?]
@amber_marshall_farm : they are litter trained, so i just dump their litter box each night.
[are they all yours ?]
@amber_marshall_farm : they were born on my farm.
[ha ha ya almost needed a wide angle lens to get them all in!! where was mama mya when you took this?? has she adjusted to them being gone okay? so cute!]
@amber_marshall_farm : haha i think she is overjoyed to have her pen to herself again… lol 9 was a lot… they were 7 weeks and already weaned when i took this video.
@waynepells : i love the sound they make!
[wow where do you keep all those cute little guys?]
@amber_marshall_farm : in my chicken coop! which is more of a rabbit hutch now… lol with 10 rabbits and just 4 hens.[STUCK-OUT TONGUE SMILEY]
[will you keep them all?]
@amber_marshall_farm : no, they are all spoken for
AMBER’S ANSWERS
(On Instagram)
Photo by: Amber Marshall
@amber_marshall_farm
jewel the jersey playing with me. she was in mid direction change when i captured this awkward shot. [SAVORING SMILEY]
#AmbersCowJewel #MiniJerseyCattle
23 Jun 2015
[do u take all of ur photis in ur lhone or do you have a camera]
@amber_marshall_farm : all my instagram photos are taken with my iphone 6. [SMILEY]
[what was the name of your first horse? and what type of breed was it?]
@amber_marshall_farm : he was a chestnut quarter horse named monty
[how can you tell her and tennessee apart?]
@amber_marshall_farm : all my cattle look very different. the hardest ones to tell apart are jewel and her daughter summer because they are the exact same size and colour. but once i’m closer i can tell. that’s what i love about jerseys, they all have different looks to them. a herd of black angus would be much harder to tell apart.
[how many head will you keep?]
@amber_marshall_farm : i want to keep my numbers under 20, but it all depends what my cows give me and at that point i will decide what to keep.
[do you own a donkey too?]
[no she doesn’t]
@amber_marshall_farm : i think he was kidding… he meant jewel looks like a donkey in this picture… lol
[lol, that is an awesome pic! on set at the beautiful heartland ranch today?]
@amber_marshall_farm : nope we are at a different location today. [SUNGLASSES SMILEY]
[hey do all your cattle have different personality to each other]
@amber_marshall_farm : totally different. some are more out going, some more cuddly, some playful and some lazy…. lol i never knew how much personality cattle had until i got these guys! funny enough, jewel who is pictured here is the laziest in the whole herd, but here she was just let out into our riding arena area and she decided it was really fun to run around and play in the dirt. lol
[hi amber, did you buy your farm before you met shawn or did you buy it together? was there any other farms you were interested in? (ps. english isn’t my 1st language)]
@amber_marshall_farm : i purchased my farm exactly one month before i met shawn. and i didn’t move in until after we had met because he actually flew out and helped me move.
[how long have you had your cattle for?]
@amber_marshall_farm : i had 2 very old long horn steers given to me 5 years ago, but i wasn’t very close with them. these cattle i’ve had for 2 years.
[careful jewel, you have a precious gem on board (hopefully)! don’t turn it into a milkshake with too much crazy play! is she still hanging out with toro? or did he accomplish his mission?]
@amber_marshall_farm : haha yeah she is still out with him. i also just put summer and ella with him as well… so here is to hoping! i will have them all vet checked at the end of july to see how the “torito” did. my other bull tuff just has one girlfriend (tennessee) this year… haha poor guy. and gem and valentine get to be single teenagers together for this year. [SUNGLASSES SMILEY]
[how long have you had jewel?]
@amber_marshall_farm : i’ve had her 2 years, but she is 4
[are you doing anything special with your 9 day hiatus?]
@amber_marshall_farm : going to try and enjoy some “downtime” on the farm. spend it with shawn and our friends. [SMILEY]
AMBER’S ANSWERS
(On Instagram)
Photo by: Amber Marshall
@amber_marshall_farm
#StJacobsOntario
22 Jun 2015
[do any of your dogs sleep with you? if they do, do you find it annoying?]
@amber_marshall_farm : no my dogs don’t sleep with us. on occasion i let our cat mouzer in the bedroom at night, but he knows to stay at the foot of the bed or else he gets put outside. lol
[which cat of yours do you spend the most time with?]
@amber_marshall_farm : mouzer
AMBER’S ANSWERS
(On Instagram)
Photo by: Amber Marshall
@amber_marshall_farm
one of the many mennonite buggies we passed while driving to the milverton ram rodeo on the weekend.
#Mennonite
22 Jun 2015
I will have to say we disagree on Ahmed I felt he was just what he showed from the beginning, the look he gave Amy when he gave her the saddle and to Ty in 718 spoke volumes to me. I agree with Lou on this one never trusted him, having delt with a few Ahmeds probably taints my view.
Have to admit, I can’t defend him much now. And I have to admit I was a bit suspicious toward the end of S7. But my view was that he had grown after 7.01 under the influence of Amy Fleming. That’s one of the series-arcs (see Ty Borden) and I saw good and genuine changes in him up to and through Amy’s rehabilitation of Zeus. Lou saw that Ahmed was attracted to Amy and I admit that. But I pitied him, that he had fallen for an engaged woman. His behavior in 8.04 hit me like a bolt. I was thinking “What…?”
Now we have to regard as faked the changes and growth I thought I saw. Maybe that’s also true of Ty Borden and all the others who seem to have grown in 8 years. Once you start doing that… Makes me uncomfortable, like I haven’t been dealt fairly.
Response to my post “Questions Remain” (From Dale Speedy)
[Dale responded to my 7 “questions”. I love reading this guy’s thinking; there is more depth here than you are likely to find even by the writers of the show. I insert some of my thoughts in square brackets in between his paragraphs]
Thanks for the reply. Yes, there are many questions that can only truly be answered by the Heartland writers because they created the characters. I have read your reasons – the head injuries and such before – and find them very plausible. Here are my answers to your questions.
1. I am a bit old fashioned so forgive me for sounding this way. I have all the respect in the world for women but have a problem with the current view ( I feel, are held by a minority of women) that they have to prove they are not just equal but better than a man. It shows up in Amy a lot and is reflected in how she does many things, it’s also very apparent in Lou and all the women of Heartland. I don’t have any problem with a woman being independent and strong, I teach my granddaughters to be that way yet I tell them to expect a man to open the door, let them go in first and always be there to protect them (even if the are able to do so herself) let him be a man! I think as I said at the end of the piece and you seem to agree that much of her fear is generated by the hurts in her life, i.e., Tim’s abandonment, then Lou’s leaving for New York and then her Mom’s death. She finds it hard to let herself open up and allow someone else to have control of any part of her life. As long as she lives like this, there is never going to be a partnership with Ty or anyone.
[I felt Amy’s pain, it was what hooked me on the series, about half way through the Pilot. I’m not used to sobbing at movies but I lost it when this 15-year-old girl is burdened with guilt over her Mom’s death and yet takes the weight of the family’s survival on her shoulders. She’s going to be forever proving herself in the world of men]
2. I have wondered about the Europe trip as well. I think that Soile’s “Promise Kept” fan-fiction probably speaks more truth to Amy’s real feelings than anything else I have read. I have never felt Amy has ever been fully committed to Ty. The most likely result of the Europe trip would have been a breakup and not a break. Look at how many times she had to be asked to marry him and I think even then she had reservations. Why didn’t she discuss the farm in the week before she left for Europe? And once in Europe why didn’t she keep in contact? I believe as I said in the story that they had never learned how to communicate in the 8 years they knew each other. Other than during season two when they were apart as a couple they never, or at least were never seen, in a meaningful conversation. Amy has never been good at making decisions and yet is always pushed or at least allowed to make them by Ty. I do believe that when she was in Europe and he tried to ask questions of her, maybe she was still upset with him and so just shut him out or as I said above she and Ty just did not know how to communicate about anything and long distance phone calls are hard with the best of communicators. Amy lives in the moment and at that time she was living life to the fullest and it left little room for looking back or forward. Multitasking is not a strong suit for her or Ty. Why did Ty not just push her to answer his questions? Why did he not force her to talk when he said “Lies Amy always lies when were you going to tell me?” The Heartland writers have always made him that way and so I guess we need to understand the writers to be able to understand their reasons. Like you said Amy and Ty danced around every meaningful conversation, there was so much that needed to be said and cleared up, but wasn’t. In real life this marriage would be headed down a long (or maybe not so long) bumpy road. I think that much you and I agree on.
[It’s maddening the way Ty never asks the obvious questions. Graham had said the way he viewed it, Ty was being as trusting as he could. But there is a scene in Season 7 where Caleb says to Ty he could never be so calm about a rich guy showing up in town and giving his girlfriend gifts. But Ty gets an idea in his head, out of all context, and sticks with it-until he explodes]
3. Was she surprised by Ahmed’s kiss? No, I don’t think she was and I think if you just watch the beginning of 8.01, you can see that she almost invited it. My view is that Amy was not the guest of honor at that party and that is why I had her living there in the Mansion. She was the hostess and part of the whole package and I am sure she was the talk of the town. She had bought into the whole life style and loved everything about it. She was maybe not in love with the Prince but she showed how she liked him, the look she gave him in the opening scene of 801 said more than anything else and set up the kiss. They were way more than just as an employer and employee. She was thankful for the opportunity the Prince had given her and she was living under his roof, taking trips around Europe with him not your everyday employee employer relationship unless you are a nanny! The way they were seated on the couch showed a level of comfort as they drank, laughed and enjoyed each others company as if no one else was in the room.. Everyone around them treated this behavior as normal. Was she drinking? Maybe, but I don’t think that had anything to do with the kiss. Like so many other things drinking had just become part of her new life. I wrote that the kiss was a surprise to her but I think it was only a surprise after she stopped to think about what had just happened and maybe not a surprise but a shock that “she” had done it. After he gave her the necklace I think that she was lost in the moment of the gift and her strong feelings for the Prince and allowed the kiss to take place. Judging by the pictures in 801 and Lou’s observation later, she did not appear to pull away but allowed and maybe even kissed him back. If she had not wanted to be kissed, she would never have allowed it. She could have turned a cheek as they do in Europe. We all do and say stupid things in the moment sometimes and then later regret that we did them. Did we want to do them? I would say most likely yes, at some level we did. Do we also regret letting it happen? I think we do and it usually shows up in someway later.
[When Ty asks Amy “When are you gonna be straight with me, Amy?”, it is not quite clear what he is referring to. After all, he is the one who withheld buying Charger. But I think it reflected his feeling that she is always holding back, never fully open with him. It may just be his view and not reality but since they can’t really talk, why wouldn’t he think that?]
4. I don’t have the answers to “The Break” and tried to take a Heartland approach to what Amy might have been thinking. I think the writers have problems dealing with emotions and more problems in talking about them. So the break was the only way they could think of dealing with it: not dealing. I think Amy thought she was trying to communicate with Ty but I don’t think she really knew how to start the conversation. Ty as written is never the one to start anything. Even when she saw and tried to tell Ty she missed him, she never asked “do you miss me?”. Or maybe her starting line should have be “I miss US”. But it was always about herself and never about Ty. That has been how the Heartland writers seem to have always made her relationship with him. She is able to see other people’s problems and how they are hurting and she asks the right questions – but never with Ty. The writers make it so she never has to explain why she does something. It would be nice to see them do as I do with my grandchildren. I ask what did you do and never why did you do it. There is always a reason. By putting the why in the forefront of every action they give Amy an out, instead of having to face what she has done. In season 8 the writers really failed us in that we did not get the WHAT or the WHY, so I can see their problem in trying to fix it.
[In “Heart of a River” (8.10) when Amy says “I was a nightmare when I came back from that tour and I don’t know how anyone put up with me”, it doesn’t reveal that she has yet come to understand WHAT she did. As I said in my letter to Heather, it makes their reunion seem unearned]
5. I agree that it could have been something other than money that drove a wedge between them but in this case I think it was money. With Tim it was always about money and Amy is influenced by him more than she realizes. Money is not a bad thing but when we allow what we can get with it or do with it to be the focus on why we do things then we become slaves to the money. I understand that many things went into the break but to me they lost sight of their relationship and became obsessed with their perceived need of money. “If we had this, we would be OK in our relationship”. Whatever happened in Europe was totally about “$” and what it could give her.
6. I felt that last year they did a large injustice to Amy the character. They took her down a road that I felt that they had no plan or idea of how to bring her back to the old Amy. They showed her coming back to her roots but did a poor job of it. They showed Amy as being happy and enjoying what she was doing and only thinking about Ty when she happened to see him. Ty was always shown as longing to be with her to talk to her and lost in his life. As to how she acted that night at the table and up to that point I fully agree with you. She was still carrying some feelings for Ahmed and it showed. I still feel that she was trying her best to tell herself that she did not care but it showed from the beginning of 8.01 until the break that she had feelings for Ahmed and those feelings and the money meant more to her than her feelings for Ty at times. It was never explained or talked about in any way to make you think that her feelings for Ahmed had gone away. They just took him out of the picture and thus there was no relationship. I’m sorry, it does not work that way. He would not have just walked away. Else he would never have accepted Tim’s invitation to dinner after she had told him what she did at the mansion. I am sure she would have received texts and phone calls from him as she was not the one who had sent him away, it was Ty and Jack. I think the reason she was able to take off the ring (at Pike River) was she knew she could have gone back to Ahmed and picked up where she left off and live this new life. It’s just my opinion but it’s the only way I could see her having that “who cares?” attitude. There are so many questions that needed to be answered and never were. The writers had enough loose ends to tie up they could have used 805 to 818 for them to be at a point where as a couple they would be ready to start thinking about marriage. We could have had a wedding about 904 and go on from there. I will never be able to watch season 8 without questions popping up. I loved your letter to Heather and have often wondered it you ever received a reply.
[I have not yet received any reply. It is likely that this is such a busy part of the production season that she has no time. Still, I would like to have had some small impact on the writing of this season. As I said elsewhere, if they make the same mistakes in Season 9 that they made in Season 8, there won’t be a Season 10-at least not for me]
7. I feel that what keeps Amy on the edge of being in trouble all the time is that she seeks thrills (your explanation” of Euphoria” makes sense). I know a few of these types and they will do anything for a thrill and when they can’t do or find one they suffer from depression. It is what makes Amy come alive! It has been ever since she was branded the “Miracle Girl”. She likes the attention, even though she may not know how to deal with it, maybe because she never really received any from her dad so she seeks it in other men. I don’t think she realizes how she comes across at times and it is purely about the thrill and attention. Sometimes she allows the person she is sharing the thrill with to become part of her high and thus you have her attractions and kisses.
Thanks. I always enjoy your comments.
— Dale Speedy
[After “the kiss” in Europe either Amy or Ahmed has to be sacrificed. Of course the writers chose to turn Ahmed into a nut-case in 8.04 and I mourn the loss of an interesting character and Amy’s only friend.
I just want to voice my protest that I think the plot took the cheap way out. There is no prior indication in Ahmed’s behavior that he would exhibit such insanity as we saw at 8.04’s dinner. In fact, up to his confession of love for Amy while touring the new mansion, I felt a lot of sympathy for him. As a character he had responded to Amy’s straight-forwardness and her talents and her beauty-despite their obvious differences. In the same way Amy had responded to his warmth and protectiveness and admiration.
So I felt they made him act wildly out of character at that dinner, with no prior indication that was in him. Oh well, too bad.
Thanks Dale. I really love reading your thoughts.
– Bill Sims]
Questions Remain (To Dale Speedy)
Dale, I thoroughly enjoyed reading “The ‘Root’ of All Evil”. It made me go back and re-read the stuff you sent me once on Amy. Really good stuff.
I still have some unanswered questions, I think.
(1) I think the logic of the plot is this: from the latter part of Season 7 Amy was both attracted and repelled by Ty. “Repelled” is too strong a word. “Wants to withdraw from…” is more like it. So she wanted to be with Ty but at the same time wanted distance.
Amy was “hurt” in some way by Ty saying he had wanted to be the one to earn the down-payment. She took that in the worst possible way and thought he was being utterly “conventional”, as if he had the view that the man is supposed to be the breadwinner.
Amy taking the job with Ahmed (7.09) despite Ty’s reservations is the beginning of her deliberately trying to establish some emotional distance, to be “independent” of Ty. I think this is only because neither one of them know how to ask for an equal partnership. But also she fears she is going to be hurt by Ty. Everyone has always gone away; why won’t he?
(2) How could Amy have gone to Europe and almost forget about their dream farm? A week passes before her helicopter departure from Heartland but never once does she think “Now we can put a down-payment on the farm”? When she returns from Europe Ty reveals they could’ve bought the farm four months ago but “I couldn’t get a solid answer from you, and I sure as hell couldn’t get a clear picture of where you stood… on anything!”
One question is why Ty doesn’t insist on an explanation right then and there in the trailer, but also it sounds like he tried to get a commitment while she was away and she evaded his questions. Why? I think the writers also evaded these questions. The implication is that Amy didn’t totally want to commit to Ty and the farm.
(3) How could she be completely surprised when Ahmed kissed her? “Naivete” doesn’t seem to explain everything at the beginning of 8.01. Had she been drinking? When and why did that start?
Dale, you write “We laughed the night away and as we talked our eyes met and I was lost in the moment then felt his lips on mine and I did not know what to do!” Getting “lost in the moment” is an explanation of sorts. She does a lot of that. I still want to understand the mechanism.
I’m leaving it as an open question whether or not the “Ahmed Kiss” was similar to the “Chase Kiss” (or even the Caleb Kiss in the barn in S2). She later admitted that she had been attracted to Chase. That’s explanation enough. So now we can’t really trust Amy to realize that she is attracted to someone and giving off those “vibes”.
Dale, you have Amy say “He was always a friend, always thinking about me”. That sounds like the beginning of attraction to the Prince.
(4) Ty’s Break and Amy’s reaction to it still remain a mystery. Why is she so angry at him before Pike River? That he didn’t call to thank her for the bail-out just doesn’t justify the degree of her anger. Dale you have Amy say “I was not going to call him because he is the one who had left.” That sounds a little childish but I don’t trust her explanations for her feelings or her actions.
(5) Dale, you have the “desire for money” being the wedge that drove them apart. That makes sense but it’s not a full explanation. Money is just the commodity that can exchange for any other material value. The money would go to buy their farm so it’s just as fair to say the desire for the farm drove a wedge between them. And that’s true, in a way. Anything that is going to devalue their relationship is a threat.
This is essentially the same theme that is revealed in “The River” (4.15). (Inviting yet one more comparison between seasons 4 and 8).
And if you generalize the theme, then money doesn’t even have to be the problem. It can be anything. In “Full Circle” (2.17) it is the fear of losing Spartan that pulls Amy out of the “center of her life” and out of balance.
(6) What mechanism would keep Amy from realizing until the end of 8.01 that she shouldn’t have gone on tour the way she did? Five months is a long time. She was very busy not communicating with home. She seems to practice self-deception regularly and there was a pattern of cover-ups for Ty’s benefit right through the dinner in 8.04.
So, unpleasant as it is to say, Amy reached a depth of dishonesty leading up to 8.04 that I never thought we’d see. You can even watch her movements through that dinner and she is trying her best to cover up, to distract, to smooth over. And she is still wearing Ahmed’s necklace even though he told her earlier in the day what it meant and why he gave it to her. She is never fully honest with Ty through to the end of that episode.
Then in “The Heart of a River” (8.10) she dismisses all these remaining questions with “I was a nightmare when I came back from that tour and I don’t know how anyone put up with me”. But that just won’t do. There are a ton of questions still unanswered. The writers really failed us on this point. Remember “Trust The Writers”? Yeah, right!
(7) Most of the above considerations boil down to “How could the Amy that we know do these things?” I considered the idea that something is wrong with her, like mental illness. (She has suffered her share of head trauma) There is actually a mood disorder called “Euphoria” in which a person experiences exaggerated and intense feelings of well-being and elation. The trigger for this disorder can be sexual feelings, physical exertions or many other events.
In “Sweetheart of the Rodeo” (2.07) Amy and Caleb win the roping contest. Then Amy and Ty are waiting for Caleb’s bronc riding event and Amy is so excited, she looks high with wide and wild eyes. Ty is turned off by this and disappears, only to show up at the bull riding event.
Again, when Amy was first working with Chase and they ride out of the ring to wild applause, she is high with excitement (her words) at how good they were together. Chase sees this as attraction and kisses her, and she kisses him back.
It all seems to be a familiar pattern of being swept up in the moment, perhaps releasing repressed feelings. After winning the Futurity Race Amy is almost high when she goes to Ty’s trailer. She can’t speak fast enough. She can’t finish sentences. And worst of all, she fails to consider Ty or their plans.
So I’m still searching for a full explanation of her behavior.
Best regards,
Bill Sims
The “root” of all evil
This story/review is about Amy and what lead up to season 8
and where they are ½ way through the season.
I am going to use Amy’s point of view to talk about how she sees all
that has happened. I feel that the Amy
has a love of life, need to get things fixed no matter the cost and a naïve trust
of everyone that tends to get her into trouble. But most important it talks about a problem we all have to come
to grips with in life. This story is set
up by a plot line in 709 I hope you enjoy.…………….
Lou has started a blog and now some lady wants to publish
it. Ty and I have found the ranch that
we really would love to have and it has given us new hope as we move on to the
next chapter in our lives.The Lou thinks that her blog needs a little spicing up so
she begins to tell us about it at the table and dad as usual takes a dig at Ty
and it hurt a lot. He made TY feel that he could not give me the things that he wanted to give me. I followed him to the truck and as he always
does he tried to act tough to hide how much he hurt. Then he made a promise that I know he meant
but I also know that will be hard to keep, for a while any.As he drives off I get a phone call from Adrian the princes
head groom. He says that the prince wants
me to call him. I just ignore it but
soon I get another, demanding I call him.
I don’t even respond and go about my business. The
next day as I am working with Spartan the prince shows up, how he knew where to
find me I am not sure but he did, and he asked me to come take a look at a
horse he had bought and he was having trouble with. Since he came in person this time I agreed
to go with him.As I watched Adrian trying to work with the horse I could
see how unruly he was and had my doubts about the horse. Ahmed told Adrian to let me try and that did
not make me feel so good and it put me on the spot. I
tried something different with the horse and it worked and while I felt good
about it at the same time I felt bad for Adrian.The prince drove me home and when I got out of the car he asked
me to continue working with his horse and give me a very large check to do
so. I showed Ty and asked him what I
should do and told him that I was afraid of what Adrian would think, Ty, as he
always seems to do, leaves it up to me. I told him we could use the check as a down
payment on the place. This is the
beginning of a where our relationship took a back seat to money and down a road
that as I look back on it makes me wish we had never found that ranch.The next night after I had had a bad day working with the
horse and dealing with Adrian I could have used a little empathy I received
none. I could tell Ty had something on
his mind I thought maybe he had also had a bad day or maybe he did not want me
working for Ahmed. What came out though
was that he wanted to be the one that earned the money for the down payment on
the place! I was angry with him and stomped off and left
Ty on the porch as I slammed the door behind me. The next day I had a good day working with
the Princes horse and I was thankful and told the prince how his gift had
inspired me. I liked the prince he was
kind to me, and always had time to walk and talk with me. Time something that Ty and I had not had a
lot of lately and his comment last night was still running through my mind.That night I was still angry with Ty not thinking of anyone
but myself not seeing that Ty wanted more than anything to provide for me because
of how he had seen his mother treated, and my dad’s words had not helped
either. I was helping Georgie with a
poultice and not even talking with Ty, but
putting him down to her knowing he could hear but not really caring as I
wanted to hurt him as he had me. As Ty
walked by and said he had to go study, I received a phone call and had to go to
settle down the prince’s horse. Ty and I
got into an argument about it because he did not want me to go but I insisted
and left Ty to finish my work with Georgie.
The rest is as we say is history I had the accident.After my recovery I heard my family talking about how the
Prince had done so much for me. I now
realize that I had taken for granted that Ty was the only one who stood up for
what I wanted. He showed me that I was
stronger than what I thought, he made me follow through and get back on my
feet. The prince came by and said that
he was going to have the horse that had hurt me destroyed and I did not even
care. It was Ty who helped me through it,
he even saved Ahmed’s horse and probably me by bringing him to HL forcing me to
deal with him. The Prince gave me a hug
when he left and I saw him as a friend and he offered me a job again anytime I
wanted.I got back on my feet and began to work with horses again
but work did not come to me as it had before.
Lou even set up a clinic for me and I only had a few people show
up. Ty had seen this and now he was
taking on more and more work. And it
began to affect his school. Dad of
course was pushing me to go back to work for the prince. And it was working because I saw how hard Ty
was working and what it was costing him health and school wise Ty told me he
had to because he had to earn the money for the down payment and I said that I
was not earning anything now.When the prince called me I went over to his place and he
made me an offer that was hard to refuse!
Though business was now picking up and I had people calling me to work
with their horses again thanks to Lou’s blog. I went to Ty as I was beginning to see again
how much we really loved one another and was thankful for what he meant to
me. Ty was still putting himself under
pressure and the thought of me going back to work for the prince was more than
he could stand so he went out and took a chance on a horse. I was mad at him not because he had bought
the horse because he could have earned his money back by reselling him later
but because he did not ask me first, as I had done with him about the job. My anger set in again and I set up an
appointment and took the job without telling Ty using the excuse that I had to
because Ty had used up “our” money on a stupid horse!I had to help Ty even though I was still upset with him and
put my job on the line in doing so. When
we won the race Ty now had firm footing and wanted to tell me something. I was so happy for him but also I had never
really gotten over what Ty had done and though I had done pretty much the same to
him in taking the job I put Ty between a rock and a hard place. I see that now that I look back at it, when I
told him that the prince had asked me to come with the team on tour. Ty could only say one thing because if he
asked me not to I would have gone anyway, because I think I just needed to show
him that I could do it. Besides now Ty
had money and the money I could make on tour would allow us to buy the place we
wanted and then everything would be all better.
I completely forgot about Ty wanting to tell me something as well when I
had walked in, something I would regret later.As I walked out to the Helicopter with Ahmed I realized I
was living a dream. I told them all that
I would keep in contact and see them all really soon so I was happy. I was off
on an adventure and though I should have been frightened because this was my
first really big trip alone I was really looking forward to it. As we
were flying away I marveled as this was my first time seeing heartland from the
air. It was so beautiful and the prince
then said that he had made Ty a promise that he would take care of me. I was so thankful for that and happy that Ty had agreed, maybe he was growing up a little after all.This trip was such a hurried thing that I had not really had
time to think about little lone pack for the things that I would
encounter. Really I did not have
anything that in my closet that I could have worn most of the time. Ahmed told me about the parties and meeting
people and I told him that I was not prepared for that. He said not to worry about that because as
part of my job I would be provided working clothes and whatever else I might
need and he reminded me that there are stores in Europe as well. He was always saying things to make me smile
and feel good about myself.At the airport the Prince and I went to his private jet and
off we flew to France. Wow I never knew
anything like this before in my life. We
sat and talked about what was expected of me and where we would be training. It was a wonderful conversation that was
ended only by us landing in Paris. We
were met by a car and driven to the Princes house. He said I live here alone and there is a
whole wing upstairs that I would like you take as your home while here in
France. He said good night and had a
servant take me to me to my room.There on the table was a large bouquet of flowers and there
was a silk night gown and a robe lying across the foot of the bed. He has thought of everything! I enjoyed a long hot bath and then went to bed
and fell fast asleep. The next morning I
found my clothes from the day before clean and folded neatly by my bed. I hardly recognized my old boots as they
looked better than the first day that I had bought them. I heard a knock on the door and the servant
informed me that Ahmed was waiting for me.We had a wonderful breakfast of French pastries and coffee
like I had never tasted and then the Prince said that we needed to go check on
the horses. Again a car came and took
us to the stables and we checked on all the horses and when I said they all
looked good he took me to my office. Ahmed
said that a tailor would be by soon to fit me for my uniforms. And though this was all new to me I thought
nothing of it because I trusted Ahmed. I
went along with a big smile thinking how much this was different than anything
that I knew at home.That evening boxes were delivered to the house and the
prince told me they were my clothes. I
said already, it was only this morning
that I gave them my measurements. I
dug into them like a child at Christmas wanting to see the new uniforms. To my surprise the first one I opened had a
beautiful dress in it. Wow I said never
thought my uniform would look like this!
Ahmed smiled and told me that he had a few things picked out for me to
wear when I was not playing the part of a trainer. I did not have the heart to tell him that I
did not wear dresses, well hardly ever. Ahmed told me that we had a dinner where we
were to meet with some people about the
tour. He asked me to wear the dress and,
shoes and jewelry he had picked out for me so we could go. I don’t know if it was the clothes or the
fact that he had thought about all of the small things that made me feel so
special.Dinner was a meal; I can never begin to tell you what that
was like. They brought out a bottle of wine to toast the deal that they made
and I felt like I needed to be part of that and I found that I enjoyed this
wine. After they had left the prince and
I went to a show, it was here I began to see how the people involved in the
tour at this level lived. I felt out of
place so I laughed and made jokes about their manners and looks. I remarked of how they seemed to be so
standoffish towards people who they saw as not as good as they. I did not realize that I had begun a journey
down that same road.A week had gone by and my days were full, training horses
and my nights were spent going to dinner parties and seeing the sights of
France. Then I realized that I had not
called my family to even let them know I had arrived safely. I called home and had a nice talk with
Grandpa as he was the only one up. I had
forgotten there was a 9 hour time difference and since it was so late I asked
him to tell Ty that I had called and was fine and would contact him soon.Later that day I called Ty and he was happy to hear from me
but I could tell that something was also bothering him. He tried to just say he was tired but I had
heard that line before and knew that something was wrong. What I did not know was that Ty was trying to
graduate early had taken on a horse business with Caleb to try and be able to
begin to support me by raising money for the ranch. Maybe because I never asked! I
tried to cheer him up by telling about all I was doing and the great time I was
having and that seemed to make him even more distant then Ahmed called and said
he needed to see me so I said good bye. I was at a loss as to why Ty was not happy to
hear from me and about all the stuff I was doing. Calls became less and less frequent and I did not call much just sent texts that I
knew he would not see for a while and if I did call it was just to say hello
and I made them when I knew I only had a short time to talk because it was so
awkward. Guess we had never really
learned to talk and now at a distance that was magnified. No matter Ahmed and my new friends keep me
plenty busy and we could talk when I got home.The tour went well and I told Ahmed that I needed to go back
to HL and so he threw me a party. I was
getting ready to go to the party when I heard the familiar knock on the door
every night at the same time there was the knock and there would be flowers for
my room. On this occasion Ahmed had sent
a note telling me how much he would miss me and thanking me for my work. As I finished dressing I thought about all
that I had seen and had been able to experience because of Ahmed. I now had friend s from all over the world people
and they were talking to me a little girl from Canada about maybe working for
them on one of their horses. I could
just see the money flowing in on top of the 6 figure salary that I was already
getting from the Prince and could not wait to tell Ty. When I had greeted my friends at the party I
heard Ahmed call my name and as I looked at him I did noy know
how to start to thank him for all he had done for me. And as if that was not enough he had become
my closest friend.After dinner as we sat around
talking the prince gave me a necklace it was so beautiful and since the party
was my going away and my team members were there I took it as being from
them. The prince was always the spokesman
for them and as I thought about it I did not really know them. I had helped them with their horses and we
had done well and they thanked me but that was about all. But that was the way it was with the prince.As we sat next to each other on
the couch I realized how much I was going to miss his friendship and our long
talks. He assured me that I was going to
see him soon and to remember I maybe going back to Canada but I was still in
his employment. We laughed the night
away and as we talked our eyes met and I was lost in the moment then felt his
lips on mine and I did not know what to do!
I pulled away and then informed him that I was engaged and he looked at
me and said he was sorry.My mind was now going a hundred
miles an hour I was transported back to the time when Chase and I had
kissed. Was this like that did I have
feelings for the prince. No I told
myself I would not go there I was headed home and this would soon be behind me.The next day I saw Ahmed and he
was again the perfect gentleman and again said how sorry he was. He told me leave the family a message and tell
them that I did not need a ride as he had arranged one. I was not thinking about how much my family
was looking forward to seeing me and never realized that they wanted to meet me
at the airport. He took me to the plane and told me to take a
few days off before I went back to work.
He was always a friend, always thinking about me. It allowed me to leave with a smile on my
face looking forward to working with him again.When I arrived at home there was no one at HL when I got
there. I realized that it had changed and it was not
as I remembered it, not realizing that it was mostly I who had changed! I now dressed different, I looked at things differently,
my actions were different but I wanted to be accepted as the Amy who had left
not the Amy who had come back. When I
saw Ty my heart raced, I went to him threw my arms around him! When we touched everything that had happened
in Europe and the party flooded my mind.
I was here in Ty’s arms but had this feeling of who is this man! I had
hardly spoken to or thought of in all these months and I was scared. He had become a stranger in my arms and that
with my guilt caused me to not be able to look him in the eye or kiss him. I still struggle with that sometimes because
I never meant to hurt Ty and yet I know I have.We had worked through most of the awkward stuff and I saw a
new man in Ty he was now a business man as well as a student and seemed to be
doing pretty well at it. There are problems
at work and Ty looks as me and says he is leaving because there is no trust, this hits me and I begin to again think about
Europe and pull away. I am
mortified! Does he know something? I begin to pick his words to me apart putting
in them meaning that I would have if I were in Ty’s place. It does not help that the prince keeps
sending me gifts. Whenever Ty asks about
a gift I take it as he is accusing me of having done something to receive the gift or
having something going with Ahmed.Then when I begin to think things are getting better Georgie
and Lou begin to be standoffish. When I
press Lou she shows me the video. I am
so angry first I have to tell Lou that nothing is going on, then I am angry
that someone filmed it and put it on the internet. I did not even think for a moment that what
had happened was wrong or even looked wrong because I knew the truth as I saw
it.I think that it is
all behind us because I called Ahmed and told him that I quit. I gave back his gifts and told Ty that I had
quit. I was somewhat surprised how happy
he was that I did not have a job now.
Yet we took out the truck that Ahmed had given me before I turned it in
and I asked Ty if he felt good about leaving Scott. What he said next caused a chill to come over
me and I was glad that he was driving and could not see my face. He stated again how it was about trust and if
you don’t have trust what do you have.Things have progressed well and I was now happy though I know
that there is a video out there of Ahmed and I kissing. I am still angry at the person who put that
video out there because it will cause me problems I am afraid. But Lou will not tell and Ty does not hang
around with anyone who would see it so it should be ok. Ty and I are really getting closer now I
can’t wait to get up and go over and see him.
One morning we are kissing and I really want to just spend time with him
but he has to go to work. As I ride
Spartan home Ty drives alongside me on the road. I am where I want to be and am looking
forward to seeing Ty later at home.Then there he is!
Ahmed rides up and I ask him what he is doing there. I tell him again that I quit and he asks why
I would not want to work for him and I tell him he knows why. He asks if he can
ride home with me and for some reason I agree to let him come. When I get home my dad is there he sees $ signs
and invites Ahmed to dinner and I am horrified!
The prince says he cannot stay though and I can breathe again.The next day the prince shows up again and asks me to go
with him to a horse auction. I ask if I
can bring Ty but when I call him he is not able to go. So I am driving with Ahmed and he takes me to
this beautiful home and tells me how he loves me. I am surprised but then again I am not but I
tell him that we are friends and nothing more and that I love Ty. He takes me home and I tell Lou and Georgie
hears and is so sorry that she had ever seen the video and takes the
blame.That night when we are getting ready to have supper in walks
my dad with the prince. Dad is his usual
self pushes and pushes me to go back to work for the prince. I tell him I can’t though he keeps pushing
until Ty steps in and says that is my decision that is it. The prince starts to talk and then Georgie
gets upset and says something to the prince and then leaves. The prince puts me in an awkward position
when Ty insists that the Prince tell him what is going on. I make a mistake and say I ended our
relationship wrong choice of words and then the Prince leaves. Ty has found out in the worst possible way
that the prince said he loves me and there is nothing I can do about it. I am completely at a loss for words. As the prince leaves Ty says to me secrets
Amy always these damn secrets. I try to
deflect what I see as the problem and say there was nothing going on. Ty says were you going to tell me about this
nothing and gets a phone call and leaves.The next day Ty brings a horse by for Georgie and she tells
him about the video before I get the chance I am feeling so bad about the night
before because of how Ty found out.
There was nothing to it and I guess he was so upset because of the
prince saying he loved me. But I know
now that he also needed to see the video so that it would all be out in the
open. I knew he would be hurt but I had
to show him so I could get it out there and we could move on. He watched the video though he said he did
not want to see it. He was angry and
just shut the computer when it was done.
He did not say a thing about the kiss the way I thought he would he just
said that I had changed. I had become a
party girl who was interested in helping the rich and not the girl he had
fallen in love with and kissed me and walked out.Why would he do that?
I had told him how much I love him I had given back the things the
prince had given me and quit my job what more does he want. I worried and cried most of the night and
wanted so bad for him to come through the door of my bedroom and hold me like
he did after my accident I had to believe
he was just angry about the kiss though walking out was not his way, that was
something I did. I figured that he would
get over it in a couple of days and we would work it out as we always did. When he did not call me I decided that I
needed to go see him. I rode over to his
place but Caleb pulled up before I did and I headed back home.I went over and over in my mind what could make him not even
want to call me. I was not going to call him because he is the one who had
left. Finally I did leave him a text; he
called me back and shared what he had done that day. But when I rode up and listened to the
message I commented on how it sounded like he was doing well. Awkward silence again so I rode off.Did he not know that
I had gone to Europe to make it possible to buy the ranch? Of how I had to sacrifice time away from my
family just so we could do what we wanted to do. Somehow the prince had gotten the wrong idea
about our relationship. To me we were
just good friends and I could not see anything that I had done to make him see
it as otherwise. Though when I look back
I see how everything I did said I wanted that kiss, though it was never my
intent. Why are guys always hitting on
me?I knew he would call me but he never did we saw each other a
few times and he seemed to be looking for me to say something and I don’t even
know where to start. I know he does not
want to hear me say that there was nothing going on, but there wasn’t so what
else can I say. Then one day out of the
blue after he starts a fight and gets thrown into jail he calls me to bail him
out. What is this all about? I chew him out and tell him to never call me
again. Now I am angry with him because
he did not call me to thank me for picking him up. I have had it if he is not going to accept me
as I am then I don’t need him. I can do
anything I want and I don’t need Ty.Now all of a sudden my family after not saying a thing
chimes in and says that I need to work on the relationship. No I don’t!
Grandpa received a phone call about helping an old friend up at Pike
River save some wild horses. So off we
went when I got there I was reminded about a time when Ty and I had come here
to save some horses. Why was this so
hard I had moved on even taken the ring off and it even felt right doing so? I even
told Grandpa that work was no place for a diamond ring but I know he saw right
through what I said. I was me again I had no cares no one to bring me down I
could just do what I loved working with horses and try and save them. Then it all came tumbling down again, dad
pulled up with Ty.Now I am really angry at Dad, Grandpa, and Ty even though
two of the three did not see this coming. I want to move on I want to get on
with my life and dad has just messed it all up.
When we hear about the horses I get upset but Ty gets even more
upset. I remember why I loved this man
but that is “LOVED” and I asked Grandpa to help keep me a safe distance from
him. I am staying in the house where Ty
and I stayed while we were there, again
memories flood my mind.Though I wanted to keep my distance it seems that every time
I turn around he is there. He watches me
take on the man who wants to cull the horses.
And tells me how proud of me he is.
Then he drives me out to Wills place that is a long short drive as we
don’t have anything to say to each other, nothing new there as we have not
talked for months. I see the wild horses
and go out and sit near them and one of the mares comes up to me. I look over my shoulder and see Ty he is
standing there with a smile that takes up his whole face. Why does he do this to me? I want so much to, not going there it is over I will just enjoy
my time with the horses. Then Ty slowly
comes out into the field and the horses are spooked away. I am upset but yet I know that he loves these
horses as much as I.He asks me if I wanted to go riding, I do but not so sure I
want to with him but I agree as I need to clear my head and nothing does that
like a good ride. We ride and even in
the silence I remember our long rides and what they meant to me. I do not understand the human mind right now
I want to flee from Ty and yet at the same time I want to run to him and fall
into his arms. While we are out we see
the pen that has been set up to capture the horses and we go back to tell
Will.The next day Ty and I over hear Matt talking about the cull
and he shows the permit. We go out to
tell Will but he is not there. I tell Ty
that we have to go to the pen and so we saddle up the horses and off we
go. I can feel the adrenalin rushing
through me as I head towards the pen at a full gallop. Ty and I get there just in time to see Will
cut the chain on the gate we go in to chase out the horses as Matt shows up and
fires his gun. Out go the horses and we
are in hot pursuit. Chasing them away
from the pen I am both excited and afraid at the same time. We soon find a place to stop and let the
horses settle in. As we watch the horses
I begin to realize how much I loved being with Ty and helping the horses I look
at him and he stares back at me and then kisses me hard maybe harder than any
time in our relationship as though he could not get close enough to me. I melt into the kiss want more this is where
we are supposed to be. Then the siren
and the MP show up and we are taken off.Even being arrested is ok because I now have Ty back. I can begin to feel whole again, or can
I? Very soon after that kiss Ty begins
to pull away again after getting out of jail we have a talk and I finally have
to ask what do you want Ty? He tells me
and I am completely taken back almost like starting all over in the barn. I am back trying to figure out how this all
started and what I need to do about it.
At least this time no one is running away and just maybe we will be able
to figure this out.From what Ty has said I now begin to see that we were both
blinded by a goal that took over our relationship. He wanted to provide for me
and I wanted to show that I could take care of my part as well. Then I began to think I could take care of
the finances for both of us by working for Ahmed. We had taken our good goals and let the
desire of the money to make that happen become the most important part of who
we were. We had let desire of the money
drive us apart, then thought the only way to get the other back was by getting
more money.As I stood there staring at Ty I was beginning to see that
relationship and most importantly Ty’s relationship was what was really
important. Without that, all the money
in the world would not make me happy and I think that Ty feels the same
way. Healing can now begin as we get
back to what we were meant to do. Love
one another, help out those in need, human and animal and let life’s rewards,
money, success, family come as part of the flow of our lives. If we can do that then happiness will have
found us again. Only then can we move
forward with our lives and be what we are meant to be a part of the HL family
and carry on what 6 generations before us had done.I have thought long and hard about what the answers to Amy’s
question at the river could or should have been and the same with Ty so here is
my answers for both to Amy question.What do you
want?From Ty’s mouth
I said it before but I was wrong to act without
talking with you first.I was wrong for not telling you that I had made
an appointment for the next day to make a down payment on the farm after we won
the race.I was wrong for not telling you that we were
more important than what either of us wanted separately no matter how great it
might be. And that I wanted to work on us before you left for Europe.I was wrong for not pushing harder from my end
of trying to make daily contact while you were away.Mostly I was wrong to walk away without giving
you all the reasons that I was doing so.I am not sorry that we took the break because we
needed to see that either we loved each other as we are or we needed to move
on. I never doubted your love of me just
that you wanted to share that love in the same way that I did. That it was more important to you than
anything else in your life.From
Amy’s mouthI am
sorry that I let you feel that you needed to provide the ranch for us when I
was not getting any work.I am sorry that I reacted the way I did and took
the job with Ahmed without talking to you.I am sorry that I did not tell you before the
race that Ahmed had asked me to go on tour, and that later I did not show the
same interest in what you wanted to tell me when I did tell you about the tour.I am sorry that I left and did not keep in
contact with you as I said I would.I am sorry that I let things get to the place in
our relationship that I was not able to share with you what was happening in my
life.I am grateful though that I was able to go to
Europe and experience the things that I did.
I liked being there and doing and seeing the things I did. I wish that I had been more open in sharing
those things in my life.I am sorry things I did that allowed Ahmed to
think it was ok to kiss me! I did not do
a good job of making sure that he could not go there. If I of stayed in contact with you I could
have talked more about you and home and told him all about what you were doing
and then maybe he would have seen how much in love with you I am.I am sorry that I felt I could not tell you
about the kiss! I wish we could go back
and change something I said when we first started liking each other from. “Words are under rated” to “lets strive to make sure we talk more”.I am
sorry that I kept secrets. I mean that without
any “but you” this time.I am sorry that I always try and defend or just
deny my wrong doings by deflecting or just being silent and walking away.I am sorry that I did not try harder to contact
you or see how much you were hurting after the break and how it was my fault.I am sorry that I took off the ring because I
was going to show you and anyone else that would see it was not there that I
was though with us.Most of all I am sorry for not being able to
share myself with you. I locked my feeling
away behind an emotional wall after mom died because I wanted to be strong and
never wanted to be hurt again. I never let anyone come inside, not even
you. But I have learned and as long as
the wall is up I will never really be able to love or be loved. I am asking you to help me to overcome and
tear down that wall. Then we can stand
strong in our love, invincible to every adverse thing that could ever try and
come between us.
billsimsposts 